The Belle Isle Experience

The recent beautiful weather has been a relief from the generally sucky weather we had last week. Feeling inspired, Matt, Anne and I took a trip to the river. An activity the we generally look forward to doing every weekend, sometimes twice a weekend in the Summer. We all figured a bit of sunshine and fresh air could do nothing but help our minds, moods, and severe lack of tan. Upon arrival, we set up camp (a couple of bath towels) and laid down to sleep, read, and listen to the ipod. Things seemed slightly trashier than usual, but thankfully we parked it upwind of the resident hippies, drunks, and presumably homeless gents. Aside from a couple of dogs with complete disregard for sunbather’s personal space, things were pretty good.
That’s when all Hell broke lose.
To our right (downstream) about ten feet we notice some shirtless guys stumbling around looking for a snake. Luckily, the leader of the shirtless militia had a plastic grocery bag to put the captured snake in, once caught. This would normally be an activity that comes and goes, ending in the drunk shirtless guy either catching the snake, then letting it go somewhere, or falling in the river, carefully not spilling a drop of his Natural Ice. This time, Drunk Shirtless Guy is shown up by Drunk Shirtless Hippie, who walks straight into the water and grabs the foot long snake. Once caught, the snake (as a perfectly natural reaction) bites Drunk Hippie on the hand. Drunk hippie gets belligerent and starts shaking, squeezing, and yelling at the snake, quickly killing it.
As if things weren’t bad enough for the snake, who after being ripped from it’s natural habitat was killed by a shirtless, drunk, idiot of a hippie, said hippie BITES HIS (or her) HEAD OFF.
The neighbors to the left of us seem to be about as disgusted as we are, but everyone else is fascinated. The snake is passed around, and eventually ends up looped through the killer’s belt loop. The dead snake. Is hung. On his pants.
A tattooed Asian girl comes along and finds the snake’s head, which has been forgotten on the ground, where it was spit out. She tosses it at her boyfriend, who laughs, and they go on their way.
Meanwhile, Drunk guy is sucking the venom? from his hand, and spitting into the water. In utter shock and general disgust, we decided then and there that we had to blog this. Just in case there were any doubts that Belle Isle has completely been ruined by idiots like these. I never thought I would miss the simple days when all you had to worry about was stepping on one of the three dozen broken beer bottles. God bless.

Pictures:

And Video:

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